DON'T COMPARE!

Compare, compare, compare, compare...
Is that all you really know?
Scanning me all through my bones,
all you do is ruin my flow,
why can't you just leave me alone?

Does it make you feel proud,
pushing people to the ground?
Do you feel the thrill,
eating up confidence,
leaving no evidence?
slowly bringing me to the kill.

Would you like it,
if you were me instead?
With me comparing you,
all the way through,
taking you as the fool,
would you think it's cool?

She's prettier than me,
so what?
He's smarter than me,
as if I care!
All your efforts,
i just want to tear,
so DON'T COMPARE!!

Humans...

Humans...

Such amazing creatures we are,
only seeing the negative,
never the positive,
only seeing the mistakes,
never the reasons or chance,
only seeing the wrong,
but never bother about the right.

Millions of right doings and care,
ruined by one fall to death,
one mistake to lose everything,
does anyone really care about others' well being?

To find faults is all we know,
to keep it until the very last blow,
never caring of where'd they go,
since when have we sunk so low?

Selfish creatures we actually are,
Just ignorant fools of humanity,
why can't we see clearly,
of what we will be??

Straight After All (a short story^^)

This is a story that I've written some time ago^^ I've submitted it to the school mag... enjoy!!~ ^^

~Straight after all~

I could not believe my eyes, he took out a box out of his pocket, a box where a ring would fit just perfectly. Finally after five long years of waiting, my heart races as Justin (my boyfriend) slowly opens the box, revealing my wedding r…BRACELET?!?

Once again, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I rubbed it to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t, it was, indeed, a bracelet, and all this while I was expecting a wedding ring, I guess I should just be more patient. Feeling shocked, I tried to hide my disappointment and said that bracelet (made of pure white gold and had three two-carat diamonds on it by-the-way) was beautiful, and it was, I just wasn’t expecting it.

Later that night, after I went home, still disappointed, I gave a call to Albert, my ‘bestest’ best friend in the universe. Let in describe him for you. He’s been my best friend ever since college, he’s a drop dead gorgeously handsome model who enjoys cross-dressing and most of all important of all, he’s gay (as in homosexual). Anyway continuing with the story, I went home and gave Albert a call. Told him about my night and managed to trick him into thinking that I gotten my wedding ring, the same way Justin did and like the ‘good’ friend he is, he teased and laughed his heart out and then we talked and gossiped until 2 in the morning.

A few days after the incident, Albert and I decided to go shopping together. I was stressed out from work and wanted to enjoy some time away from my boyfriend for once and Albert just happened to finish a photo shoot nearby. While walking around and debating with Albert about a dress that I think I should buy, my heart suddenly froze as I saw Justin out with another girl. I thought again and guessed that she may just be Justin’s friend or something, but Albert guessed otherwise, and so we had this ‘mini spy game’ (as Albert called it) and started spying around Justin without his knowledge. It was fun at first until I noticed that they seem so close to each other that they’re even holding hands. I pushed the thought out immediately and convinced myself otherwise as Albert and I might look the same way as them. Then, something happened that convinced me that Albert was right all along. Justin kissed her, not just a simple peck, but a really passionate kiss. The exact same one that he used to give me. I stood from where I was standing and unconsciously, tears ran down my cheeks.

After having a hard time trying to cheer me up with ice-cream, Albert drove me home and kept silent all the way. He knows I calm down faster in silence. Well… he knows me better than I know myself. When I reached home, I gathered up enough courage and then called Justin to have lunch with me the next day. During lunch that day, after keeping silent for nearly the whole meal, I forced myself to ask him about the other girl. He didn’t deny it, and my heart sank when he even admitted it openly, but the thing that tore me apart was the fact that he didn’t want to break up, he wanted us to continue the way we used to be. At that very moment after five long years, I finally realized what a total jerk he really was, the worst part is I couldn’t bring myself to break up with him, I couldn’t even bring myself to argue with him because in my heart, I know, I still loved him, and knowing this only made me hate myself even more.

For a few weeks I was not the person I was before. Instead of my cheerful self, I’ve turned into a zombie like creature. I couldn’t get enough sleep, I couldn’t even bring myself to eat, in fact it was as if my very existence have ceased to exist. Not only that, ever since the lunch we had together, Justin even call. Being heartbroken and depressed, I wished my life would just end.

Little did I know that this incident didn’t only affect me, it affected Albert as well. One day, I couldn’t remember when, I was in a amusement park with Albert, all this while he was trying to cheer me up. But all this while his efforts were all put to waste.

Finally couldn’t he take it anymore. After trying to cheer me up with roller coasters, ferris wheels and many other games, he just snapped. He drove me to Justin’s office and practically dragged me all the way. I guess his expression at that time was so scary and filled with anger that even the useless security guard was afraid to get into Albert’s way. When Albert arrived at Justin’s office, without any signal or word of any warning, he punched Justin’s face with all his might. Never had I seen this much fury in Albert, and finally, I understood the sadness that I have brought upon him, and I realized that I had to do something. I just couldn’t bear burdening my friend anymore. There was only one thing that could be done. Without saying a word, I walked up to Justin (whose nose is now bleeding), and said

“I’m done with all your nonsense, I’m breaking up with you,” then I just walked back to Albert’s car feeling numb all over, ignoring Justin’s pathetic apologies while squeezing Albert’s hand. I really needed his support and I know I got it.

Instead of asking Albert to take me home, I asked him to take me to some place I could walk, I didn’t want to be alone again. He took me to a park after a considerably long drive.

While sitting on a bench with Albert, I couldn’t stop myself from crying, I cried as if there were no tomorrow, then suddenly, I laughed, softly at first, then slowly getting louder and Albert joined in laughing with me after giving me a weird look for a long time. It felt good to be free again. He then gave me a hug, wiped the tears off my face with his finger, and then, out of the blue, he confessed. Shocked beyond words, I stayed silent for a few seconds, and then I said, while giggling

“Since when were you ‘straight’?” and laughed, and then, I noticed how serious he was. He was even putting on his ‘professional’ look (it’s the look he puts on when he’s working), then slowly but suddenly, he pulled me towards him and kissed me softly and gently on my lips.

“For awhile,” he looked at me nervously and continued

“I’m not kidding, so err… I guess I am straight after all,” and he smiled a rare shy and embarrassed smile at me, and I returned his smile.

I have finally retired ^^ T____T

A year hav passed,
"when will we 'bersara'?"
is all that's asked,
the answers have i now,
2day's d day we expire,
no longer muz we perspire,
pressure n stress will haunt me no longer,
for now a new page have been turned over.

miss i not the 'pelajar bijak-s',
miss i not my 'pengawas sayang-s',
but surely will i miss my 1 time experience,
which surely has boost up my confidence.

yes, i know my language is 'rojak',
no need to correct me,
i know i suck,
to all SMKSS prefects,
have i to say,
SELAMAT BERSARA!!
hope 2 work with u another day!! =) (NOT)